After the Deadline

While most writers may look forward, and also dread, the approaching deadlines, rampart emotions do not end when the deadline comes.

Oh no.

With most writer, anytime you turn something in, there will be that moment of pure relief, like the lifting of Atlas' world from your shoulders and you suddenly feel like you can breathe again, until the next story comes along (or if you're working on a story, until you get back to writing, which will be within the next 20-30 minutes).

Then, immediately thereafter, there will be dread. Almost a feeling of pure hatred for the work that you just turned in and a certainty that the editor will hate it just as much and you will lose that little of credibility that you had.

Yet on the other hand, while you may hate it and have every reason to believe that the editor will too, you also want them to love it, as a validation of your hard work and your skills (which you never think you have enough of.

And then, probably a month or two or three later, you'll be bored one night and decide to re-read your old writings. And as you're reading them, you'll come across a sentence that'll make you laugh or that I think is really well-constructed and then you'll think, "Damn, I'm good."

And that's as close to confidence as you'll ever get, that moment where you're finally allowed to pat yourself on the back for a job well done and believe that brilliance will carry on to your next project.

And then you'll agonize over a new piece and think you're the most mediocre writer in existence.

Though I do think this piece that just came out on Monday is quite good. Perhaps my most accomplished yet.

Until I read it again in another 6 months and laugh at myself and how amateur my writing was. It never ends.

What are your thoughts reader?

"Bringing Up Baby - And Acting Too"