Flashing the Bride

It seems any great event in life these days is an excuse for a Youtube moment. These days, it's no longer just home videos (like those VHS tapes that my parents still have of our first trip to Disneyland and to Vietnam, that none of us have watched in years). Instead, it's digital videos that you can upload online, so the personal becomes communal.

It's like a fatter cousin of the village mentality - you grew up in a village or small town, USA where everyone knows each other and every personal event automatically becomes a communal event. When I visited the village where my dad grew up, my aunt invited the neighbors and their children in for dinner.

These days, those events are not personally shared via face-to-face interaction. Instead, it's digital and the community is in the hundreds to the thousands (depending on how many FB friends or Youtube subscribers you have or hits you get on the video). And if you're lucky, you might even get to do it on the Today Show.

The "New York Times" published an article on Friday about flash mob proposals, citing the numerous benefits of such a large-scale proposal, the most amusing being:

Men have done astounding things across history to win a bride, and a mother for their young — in battle and in romance. This is just another very imaginative approach. And she won’t forget it. When they hit some bumps down the road, she will be able to recall this moment and perhaps forgive his other foibles.

I had no idea that a large-scale proposal was also a get-out-of-jail-free card for any future arguments. "I'm sorry for not mowing the lawn/coming home drunk/cheating on you, but remember when I proposed to you via flash mob?"

Then again, I guess the answer of "yes" isn't enough, especially when you're probably spending upwards of $2,000 to organize an event around a question (that hopefully you know the answer to), especially one that can turn you into a Youtube sensation.

But, like the gargantuan diamond ring or the multi-thousand-dollar wedding dress or the 200-guest-list wedding, I guess it's just another facet in an industry that already prizes ostentation uber alles. Not to say that "Bridezillas" and "Say Yes to the Dress" aren't entertaining, because they are.

And so are flash-mob proposals. Especially this one:



But sometimes I wonder, isn't the almost an unequal foundation for the rest of your life? After all, he is the one who is organizing the big question event, and all the girl needs to do is say yes. Then during the wedding, all eyes are on the bride and her wedding dress and her engagement ring. The groom, as always, decoration and subservient to the bride.

The big, over-the-top proposal is almost a modern day equivalent to bringing over cows and chickens to convince the bride (and her father) that she should marry you. What is the bride worth to you? Is she worth a flash mob? Public artwork?

Though my question is: What happens if she says no? That is, literally, a world of humiliation.