A Conversation with My Boyfriend About Zombies

When killing zombies, it's best to have something sharp.
Still from Season 3, Episode 1 of "The Walking Dead" on AMC

Below is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about "The Walking Dead" and zombie mythology,. Because when you're in a relationship, you talk about anything and everything, including shows that you know the other person will never ever watch (He's been trying to get me into "Archer" for months now). Beware, slow-walking, moaning spoilers ahead.
 
Me: Tonight, I watched the Walking Dead and at the end of the episode, the main character chopped off another character's leg with a hatchet.

BF: Did he get bitten?

Me: Yeah, and he was the only person there with medical knowledge and really old, so it made no sense why they would bring him along on a suicide mission to take over this prison and fortify it.

BF: So they're going with the rule of, you get bitten, you turn into a zombie?

Me: Basically.

BF: Why did they chop off his leg if he was going to turn into a zombie anyway?

Me: No, in this world, everyone is a carrier for the zombie virus. A bite will just make you die faster.

BF: How fast? Are we talking about hours or days?

Me: Days. It's like Ebola. You die quickly and then you're reborn as a zombie. They had to chop his leg off before the virus infected the rest of his body.

BF: But he may still die because they don't know if he's been completely infected.

Me: Yeah.

BF: If these zombies were trapped in a prison, how are they still alive? Can they eat each other?

Me: No, zombies can only eat living flesh and zombie flesh is dead.

BF: Then why can't they just wait for the zombies to starve and decompose? Why are they so afraid of these zombies?

Me: ...It's a zombie show. If we followed the rules of nature, there would be no show. Are you going to start watching zombie movies now?

BF: Probably not.

And that is how you poke holes zombie mythology.