25: My Quarter Life Crisis

Here's a funny thing that happens when you graduate college and become an alumni, especially when you are living in New York City: You suddenly become a repository of advice.

I just turned 25 in May. And along with a promotion at work (I'm now an assistant editor, which means I am qualified to edit other people!)--and renewing an apartment lease for the first time (which meant I bought a bed frame and will finally be decorating my apartment), and traveling for work (which will never not be awesome)--here are some things that I've learned in my 25 years of life, and two years post-college as a working professional. These are stemmed from my experience as a writer, for other young writers trying to make this crazy thing called life (and love!) work.

I'm writing this blog post from my hotel room in Dallas. Because I am an adult now, and with adult work comes adult business/reporting trips. And while I have learned these things, I don't always follow them, so this is a good reminder for me as well when I'm feeling useless and hack-like.

1. Optimism is a lot less stressful than being cynical.
2. Being kind is a very easy thing to do, most people like it when other people are interested in what they do/have to say.
3. Being a good listener is an invaluable skill to have, especially if you're a writer.
4. Older people don't know what they're doing either.
5. You're not as unattractive as you think you are, unless you haven't showered in the last 24 hours, in which case, yes you are.
6. Once you stop becoming afraid of being rejected, then the options are limitless. If you want to write for a publication, ask to write for them. The worst thing they can say is no, and then you can just ask again a couple of weeks/months later when you have a good idea.
7. Related, the story idea/pitch that you have that you think will make an amazing story will not be the last good idea you ever have. This fact is invaluable when your pitch gets (inevitably) rejected.
8. Related, follow up with people when you want something from them, because everyone needs a little reminder.
9. Just because your friends are not calling you to hang out doesn't mean they don't care about you, you're just one of many things they have to take care of.
10. Family support goes a long, LONG way and you are lucky to have it, especially when most of your family don't quite understand what you do and how you make money at it, but support you anyway.
11. Try not to compare yourself to other people, it only brings you down and makes you feel like you're not doing enough with your time.
12. There is nothing wrong with spending a day just watching TV, you worked 40 hours this week, you're allowed to let your mind rest.
13. Related, there is also nothing wrong with staying in on Friday and/or Saturday night. Drinks cost too much anyway and the more drinks you have, the looser you become with your money.
14. Buying coffee everyday adds up, ditto with eating out. As such, the fastest way to save money is to not eat out and buying $3 snacks on a whim.
15. If/when you get health insurance, take advantage of it. Take care of yourself now so you don't have to spend a butt load taking care of yourself later.
16. Kicking that soda habit is one of the best decisions you ever made. High five for less cavities! Ditto for frappuccinos and any other beverages that can double as a dessert.
17. Studying abroad and grad school may not have been smartest thing to do financially, but you made those decisions and no use regretting them now. Learn from them and be glad you had those experiences. There is no time machine (yet).
18. If you are dating someone and they are unhappy/dissatisfied with themselves and their own life, and they aren't willing to change, the relationship will most likely not work out.
19. Your writing is getting better all the time. How? Because you're continuously writing and reading. The thing they told you in school about writing style developing via writing a lot was true!
20. Related, a handy way to develop a writing style is if you write to entertain yourself. Don't write with a tone or a vocabulary that you think you need to have. Write what you would want to read. If it's fun for you to write, it will be fun for whoever is reading your article.
21. Pace yourself, you may have goals and may be frustrated that you haven't reached them yet, but you have years to get to them and you're not racing against anyone but yourself. Reevaluate this point when you hit 30.
22. You will always feel slightly insecure with yourself and where you think you should be in life, that's normal.
23. It is possible to technically be an adult and live an adult lifestyle with a full-time job, but not feel like an adult. 
24. Remember what F. Scott Fizgerald wrote in "The Great Gatsby,"
    

    Whenever you feel like criticizing any one...just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.